One method of writing clearly and concisely is to use strong verbs (doing/action words) rather than noun phrases. Look at the opportunities to strengthen the verb and reduce clauses to phrases or phrases to single words.
Compare the following sentences.
Both sentences have the same meaning. The first sentence has six words and the second has three.
Using the verb compared in the first sentence rather than the noun phrase undertook a comparision in the second sentence makes your sentence clear and direct.
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